Today in Patrick's daily email, he wrote that right now we might be experiencing this crappy stage in our progress that's kind of like a rotten, marshy no-man's land between having to struggle through all these changes and when we will actually start to see results. The point was basically to not let it get to us, and to just keep marching on.
But I have to tell you, I feel F-ing marvelous.
Tonight as I walked away from the printmaking studio, holding a giant, juicy, crunchy Pink Lady apple in my hand, I could not help but feel my body literally glowing with glee and energy. I know a lot of my happiness is connected to really getting into making art again, but that's just not all there is to it.
During the three hours of class, all I did tonight was cut, bevel, file-down, sand, and polish a single 5"x6" zinc plate (in preparation for etching a design into the plate on Thursday). That's it. We didn't work on our designs or draw at all, but the whole time I felt engaged and really satisfied.
While sanding my plate down -- which believe me takes a looooooonnnnggggg time to complete -- I could feel my muscles moving around and I could sense their new strength for sure. It was wonderful. Even as they struggled, I enjoyed just feeling the connection between my exercise and my real life. Of course a lot of the other students in the class hated the struggle, and gave up half way through and went home. But I guess giving up is just not something I've allowed myself to do lately.
Right after class was the best part though. The combo of the slight burn in my right arm from all of that work and the replenishing goodness of my apple was incredibly invigorating. It is such a change to experience my body responding to the food that I am eating the exact moment it is happening.That apple was so pure and nourishing. Food is amazing. My body is amazing. How did nature come up with all of this stuff? It has become apparent that my body is coming into an equilibrium, and my energy and concentration and happiness are directly, positively affected.
I just ate two egg whites in a row and it was so great. I can't even tell you. Feeling this good inside, I know what I am doing (and all of us on the PCP are doing) is right. I am so stoked on life. I am living! And alive! Alive and living and I LOVE IT!
It reminds me of something Adrian said to me recently: "If you are excited about your life, you won't even want to go to sleep at night. But you know you should, so you sleep. But that excitement is what keeps you from snoozing the alarm in the morning and instead gets you jumping out of bed."
Well, I don't want to sleep! I want to stay up all night and draw and dance and draw some more! But we all know what Patrick said yesterday, so buffy sleep it is. :0)
5 comments:
Wow, I really envy you your self awareness. Something I've been trying to rediscover and trying to find it is a journey in itself. Stay in that zone and you will be racing towards peak condition.
That sounds great! Glad to hear you're feeling so well.
looks like you're the first to get the "PCP high" Everyone will feel it at some point and I hope they all write about it as eloquently as you!
lol @ at the "PCP high"
Very encouraging to hear Emiko. Great post!
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