I've been thinking a lot lately about this new way of life that we PCP'ers have been living, and I wonder if when it is all over, I'll just revert to my old ways. I remember when I was younger seeing issues of the National Enquirer about how Luther Vandross had lost 200 lbs only to gain 400 a couple months later. Will it be the same way with me?
Emiko and I quite often talk about the kinds of foods we want to indulge in, and I imagine us hitting up our old haunts and just going back to being lazy and inactive. It seems all too easy for us to go down that same route.
However, I feel like I'm learning things about how to live right now that will stay with me forever. Prior to this project, I was just sort of ignorant about what I put into my body and how I used it. I mean, even things as simple as jump-rope techniques, which Amy so kindly posted for us, are things that I wouldn't normally think about. I've always been somewhat physically awkward, and mostly ignorant about why. These days though, I am more able to feel when and how I am using my body improperly.
For example, today in drawing class, the teacher gave us a concentration exercise. We were instructed to take a sheet of sketchbook paper and to fold it into 4 boxes. In the first box, we were to draw a spiral as tightly as possible and with one continuous line, until the spiral filled up the entire square. During this exercise, I consistently found myself tightening up, hunching my posture, gripping my pen too tightly, and holding my breath and becoming frustrated. Normally, a person can go on for hours like that without noticing what they are doing.
It's easy to be carried on a wave of subconscious activity. But the PCP has really forced me to look at many aspects of my life simultaneously - How I deal with stress and pressure, how I physically exert myself, how and what I eat, the feelings of frustration and irritation that I am sometimes prone to, everything... And I'm grateful for it.
I hope everyone is well.
Adrian
It's a hot and sleepy day...
7 comments:
Aww, the cats look like they like the PCP right about now!
I really don't think you'll just snap back to your old ways after this is over. I'm guessing that it'll really be a hybrid between the old ways and all the great new stuff and habits you've learned on the PCP.
I think so too Amy. How could anything just disappear into thin air?
-A
I really think it's all about our mindset. I had this convo with someone yesterday. So many people "go back" after they make progress because all along they were telling themselves (consciously or subconsciously) that they were "depriving" themselves of things they liked, and that they had to be "strict," so that they can "get in shape." Well all those attitudes put such a negative connotation on what you should be doing. You aren't deprived, your giving yourself the wonderful opportunity and attention your body deserves, you aren't being strict you're being mindful, you aren't getting in shape, your getting to your natural state of premium functioning that our society so sadly steals from us so easily.
So don;t worry about going back to your "old ways" you will be a new person. Just talk to Sean, David and Corry. You can;t go back because like you mentioned you now know what your body needs, at the end of the 90 days you won't think finally I can take a break and give myself a treat! You will think finally I know everything I need to know to carry me through a long healthy life!
(I should make that into a post lol I don't know where the sudden inspiration came from)
Your mind will be restructured by this project. For example, even two months post PC, my dietary frame of reference is still PCP. Like what I consider a big meal now would have been an appetizer for me before the projects.
And there are some things, like potato chips, cookies, and donuts that I am not even tempted to eat now. They just look gross.
It's easy to not slide back into old habits when those old habits are vaguely disgusting to you.
But for now, don't even think about the end, just eat your food and do your exercises and see what happens!
Meditation is something you can't rush - I never got the hang of coping with my monkey mind so have never managed to meditate on a regular basis. But finding the time is important. I'm sure you will work it out - just a question of balancing everything.
Patrick,
You said, "It's easy to not slide back into old habits when those old habits are vaguely disgusting to you."
That's true. Emiko and I were talking yesterday about our picky eating habits as children. She told me about how she used to order hamburgers at McDonalds and eat only the buns with ketchup. "I don't know why I thought that tasted good."
Nate,
Good point. And your confidence in your ability to change is inspiring. Thanks.
-A
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