Emiko: Day 33, A New Hero

I have been venting my frustrations with sugar for the past few days, and was feeling kind of low today (a.k.a. was in a PCP Valley). Having temptations again is frustrating, because I feel like I am falling back into my old habits and addictions all over again. I have resolved to give up anything sweet besides fruit (that means no occasional honey on my toast, agave nectar in my coffee/steamed milk, or dates...which is the toughest of all!). These things are only going to keep my body used to, and reliant on, extra sugar as a part of my diet. Well, think again, body! That sweet stuff is history!

Later on in the day, I had a revelation about my PCP hero. Patrick has suggested that if we are having intense cravings or struggling through a work-out, to think of our heroes for the Project for the strength to do what's right. Patrick used to carry around a picture of Bruce Lee to give him motivation during his Project. But, in these situations, I don't think of my official PCP Hero for inspiration. Although I admire Michelle Rodriguez for both her body and her attitude, she is not who I think of to get me through the tough times. My real PCP hero is none other than Adrian Velazco, my partner in this project and in life.

Adrian started the Project with much less body fat than I, so right now his muscles are really starting to pop out. I am motivated by his energy and his results to keep my cravings from affecting my actions, and to always push myself to do my best with each of my exercises. His excitement about getting into shape and, now, beginning training in Parkour is so contagious.

A recent example is that I recently started doing 1,350-1,700 jump-ropes in a single set. I would not have attempted even close to 1,000 jumps if Adrian had not done so first. He has also inspired me to add the 8-minute Abs video to my work-out every day, to take my exercise up a notch (which, by the way I LOVE that video). Also, Sunday night when I was really hungry and (gasp!) almost ate a bunch of extra carbs at night, I called Adrian hoping he would tell me to go for it, but he simply said something to the effect of, "Well, you are hungry. So be hungry." So I was able to just know my hunger, not let it take me over. His constant support and his attitude are so awesome.

So, thank you Adrian for being my real hero! I admire you in so many ways.

Emiko & Adrian: Day 16, Good Snooze and Bad Snooze

So, remember how we mentioned that Patrick wants us all to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night? One would think that forcing ourselves to get that much rest would allow us to wake up refreshed and jumping out of bed. But what we've been doing is more like crawling out of bed. For some reason, the body just says, "hey, I like sleep! I want to keep doing this." *Emiko hits snooze button* Emiko has actually learned how to hit the snooze button while still in REM sleep.

The bad news (or bad snooze) is that the first hour of the day is spent in a groggy haze. We shuffle around in the morning going through the motions, weighing our veggies and peeling our eggs, etc. The lack of energy might also be because we are not seeing the results yet, and it's hard to keep feeling excited every day when we can't really imagine our bodies looking any different.

The good news (snooze) is that despite this lack of energy, we know it's important to continue going through the motions, and we are. We've been sticking closely to our diets, struggling through the exercises, and pushing on.

Adrian found this proverb in Buddhism, A Very Short Introduction, the text we are reading for our Buddhist philosophy class:

"Sow an act, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny."

We both found this quote to be inspiring, and we hope that it's inspiring for the rest of you as well. Every action we're undertaking right now with this new lifestyle is creating better habits, and will eventually strengthen our characters and not just our bodies.

On that note, we are off to bed for another full night of rest! G'night.

Emiko: Day 6, New Beginnings

The greatest gift that the PCP has given me is an awareness of what I am putting in my body. When I feel hungry, my reaction is different now than it used to be. I actually think things through, instead of just grabbing and making what seems satisfying at the time. I ask myself, How hungry am I, really? And how is this going to make me feel if I do eat it? What is half of my normal portion of this food?!? I can see how addicted I am to food, and this focused awareness really helps me to catch and break my old habits and attachments.

Something about either exercising daily or eating so much less—or maybe both—has brought me into the present a bit more. I feel clearer, more aware of my present experience, and less forgetful. I was starting to notice this on my own, and the Adrian told me he was noticing it too. So cool! I seem to have become exponentially forgetful in the recent past, so it feels really good to find this improvement as a bonus to an already amazing experience.

Today marks exactly one month until my 20th birthday. It's pretty exciting knowing that after just a single month I am going to be looking, feeling, and eating so much healthier than I probably ever have in the last 10 years. And just a couple months after that, I will look the best of my entire life!

I am also excited (and nervous) to start the "PCP Proper" with new, strict, weighed-out diets. Patrick will be sending us our individual diet plans on Friday. Is Week 1 really almost over?! Adrian and I are still undecided about what to eat for our Last Supper. I hope we don't cross the line just because it's our last un-weighed meal!

In other news, school started up again today, and I am pretty excited. I am taking a bunch of art classes and can't wait to get going!

New beginnings.

Emiko: Day 5, Cravings Cravings, Cravings...

...leave me be! 

It is already Day 5 of the PCP and our "eat only half" diets, and my body has finally decided to rebel. I have had cravings all throughout these five days of dietary change, but Day 5 for me was when, in Patrick's words, "your body might say, 'I've had enough of this BS, hand me a cookie!'" It wasn't just cravings, really, it was the habitual action of filling myself with food and drinks all throughout the day. The cravings only fueled my actions. This constant feeding is more in anticipation of hunger than in reaction to hunger. And that just pisses me off!

At first I was like, "you're right, body, I need a bagel! Ooh, and hand me that pastry. Pour me a latte while you're at it!" You see, I am trying to cut these dense, sweet and buttery breads out of my diet, and am also weening myself off of caffeine. Of course these are all things I'm surrounded by at work, and I used to not think twice about eating or drinking something I didn't really need. I soon got a grip on myself today and said, "Fuck off, body! It's time for me to help us feel better in the long run."

I am so glad that we have the benefit of having a community built in with the PCP. Without that, I may have cut myself more slack today, and just gone downhill from there. Knowing that I have the support of Adrian and everyone here, I just can't give up or give in! (That was probably corny, but I can't help it!)

Adrian: Day 5, Habits.

Nate mentioned in his last entry how he is annoyed by people who complacently let themselves go, by not caring for their bodies. I am complacent in my own way. I wake up early every morning, do my meditation, have breakfast and tea, shower, check my email and then do my work. Now, I have the habit of eating a small bowl of cereal with half a banana for breakfast every day and doing exercises. It is sometimes difficult for me not to turn my daily life into a routine.

Complacency takes many forms. And it is often invisible to those who suffer from it. Essentially, it is putting your life on autopilot. When this happens, you lose the ability to attend to and appreciate your life. Eating poorly because it is easy to is one form of complacency, but so is believing that a daily exercise, diet and meditation regimen is going to make your life better. You really have to be there for it every minute of every day.

A week before the PCP began, I asked a question on a Buddhist message board regarding complacency. To sum up, I asked if it were possible to break old habits without replacing them with new habits. One of the answers I was given was basically that 'some habits are better than others'.

I am reminded now that the point of this whole project is not to have a beautiful physique (although that is a nice benefit). The habit of paying attention to our body's needs is just the beginning. To be in peak condition is to be in a deep state of appreciation for your life. And it is my aspiration that during these 90 days with all of you, I can deepen this understanding and come to be more consistently aware of what it means to care for myself - when it is difficult, and especially when it is easy.