Emiko: Day 6, New Beginnings

The greatest gift that the PCP has given me is an awareness of what I am putting in my body. When I feel hungry, my reaction is different now than it used to be. I actually think things through, instead of just grabbing and making what seems satisfying at the time. I ask myself, How hungry am I, really? And how is this going to make me feel if I do eat it? What is half of my normal portion of this food?!? I can see how addicted I am to food, and this focused awareness really helps me to catch and break my old habits and attachments.

Something about either exercising daily or eating so much less—or maybe both—has brought me into the present a bit more. I feel clearer, more aware of my present experience, and less forgetful. I was starting to notice this on my own, and the Adrian told me he was noticing it too. So cool! I seem to have become exponentially forgetful in the recent past, so it feels really good to find this improvement as a bonus to an already amazing experience.

Today marks exactly one month until my 20th birthday. It's pretty exciting knowing that after just a single month I am going to be looking, feeling, and eating so much healthier than I probably ever have in the last 10 years. And just a couple months after that, I will look the best of my entire life!

I am also excited (and nervous) to start the "PCP Proper" with new, strict, weighed-out diets. Patrick will be sending us our individual diet plans on Friday. Is Week 1 really almost over?! Adrian and I are still undecided about what to eat for our Last Supper. I hope we don't cross the line just because it's our last un-weighed meal!

In other news, school started up again today, and I am pretty excited. I am taking a bunch of art classes and can't wait to get going!

New beginnings.

Adrian: Day 5, Habits.

Nate mentioned in his last entry how he is annoyed by people who complacently let themselves go, by not caring for their bodies. I am complacent in my own way. I wake up early every morning, do my meditation, have breakfast and tea, shower, check my email and then do my work. Now, I have the habit of eating a small bowl of cereal with half a banana for breakfast every day and doing exercises. It is sometimes difficult for me not to turn my daily life into a routine.

Complacency takes many forms. And it is often invisible to those who suffer from it. Essentially, it is putting your life on autopilot. When this happens, you lose the ability to attend to and appreciate your life. Eating poorly because it is easy to is one form of complacency, but so is believing that a daily exercise, diet and meditation regimen is going to make your life better. You really have to be there for it every minute of every day.

A week before the PCP began, I asked a question on a Buddhist message board regarding complacency. To sum up, I asked if it were possible to break old habits without replacing them with new habits. One of the answers I was given was basically that 'some habits are better than others'.

I am reminded now that the point of this whole project is not to have a beautiful physique (although that is a nice benefit). The habit of paying attention to our body's needs is just the beginning. To be in peak condition is to be in a deep state of appreciation for your life. And it is my aspiration that during these 90 days with all of you, I can deepen this understanding and come to be more consistently aware of what it means to care for myself - when it is difficult, and especially when it is easy.